Sunday, 8 April 2012

A girls best friend

Ladies this is one area I fear we will all suffer from. Gurls just don't get a chance to make life long bonds. Sir you know this has been a constant issue for me (Mr Black looks a little weary he has heard me argue this point till I am told to stand in the corner and learn my place) 
         The issue is simply one of time. We Gurls once we make the giant step outside of the closet have to pack in perhaps 20 plus years of living into a year so that we can catch up to our genetic sisters. 
          Is a 20 something women the same mentally as a 20 something Tgirl? Can she ever be? Is it fair to expect that from someone who has expressed the need to change gender and is exploring her new femininity over night? Real women get a lifetime to learn the tricks and tips of the trade so to speak. 
         They get to form life long friendships - the girl they meet at school, the female friends they meet at University and explore their womanhood with their first dance, kiss and sleep over. The giggles and ohm's and ash's they share when describing their first love. We don't share these thoughts we feel awkward and ashamed as we hide our needs growing up. We hide behind false macho bravado (giggling out loud - who was I trying to kid, I was more girly then the most prissy girl in school. I kid you not I had several female friends and they all new my secret even though we never spoke of it they made fun of me as they all chatted about clothes and changed in front of me. I remember one afternoon walking home with Sally and Liz both of whom lived very close to me and they chatted and I walked quietly listening to them sometimes drifting behind them to watch how they moved flicked their hair stood at the crossing chatting Sally going one way Liz and I the other the little hug they gave each other and the quick kiss on the cheeks. The inevitable call me tonight as we walked the other way. 
          Liz would invite me in often she knew I hated it at home and she enjoyed making me up. She would often change out of her school uniform in front of me. I would be so flustered as she stood in her knickers and bra looking through her wardrobe for a t'shirt to put on. Once in a while she would complain about her bra digging in and she would take it off and throw it at me. To my shame I would reveal in the residual warmth and smell the garment had and would pretend to hate it. But Liz really did know better. I guess to some extent I was a lucky but she grew up as did I and things changed. They always do. 
        I would cry myself to sleep dreaming of having friends, female friends, going to university just chatting over coffee. 
        I want to take a call from my best friend something as simple as that. I want her to call me and ask to meet for a coffee. 
I want to help her dress for that date she has been dying to go on and then meet to chat about it for hours the next day. 
I want to share an intimate moment with another human being that does not lead to sex but builds on our friendship. I want the girls to stay over and have fun - drink too much and talk all night 


I want to go on holiday with her. 

Cuddle her just because she is there and expect nothing back. 


I want to have memories about silly things we did things that make us all blush. 


Most of all I want a friend who is there and understands me. 

Gurls / Girls do you all understand and agree?  (Miss Jones)

Miss Jones go and stand in the corner right now! 
 (wearily shaking his head  MR BLACK)

 But Sir. Pouting and turning on my heels to stand in the corner. (Obidiently yours, Miss Jones)

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